New Life Roads
TESTIMONY
FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM. A TRANSFORMATION STORY
They say knowledge is power, but sometimes you must experience something firsthand to truly understand its intensity. When it comes to the heat of a flame, reading about its temperature can only prepare you so much. To truly grasp the severity of the heat, you must feel it for yourself. Only then can you appreciate its true potential and take the necessary precautions. It is important to remember that some lessons cannot be learned through words and must be experienced. So, while knowledge is valuable, it's essential to recognize the value of experiences and the unique wisdom they can provide.
Living in a world where disaster and hardship strike without pause can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. The overwhelming weight of pain, sorrow, and anguish can feel as heavy as a 5000-pound burden pressing down on the heart, making it difficult to go through the motions of everyday life while being painfully aware of the ongoing struggles and tribulations faced by our children. A deep sense of heartbreak consumes my thoughts as I grapple with the harsh realities that so many innocent lives endure daily. Yet, I am determined to share my story, to bring to light the challenges faced by so many, and to advocate for the understanding and support they so desperately need.
How do I know? I am that child who was born into a destitute, shattered home, where the suffocating weight of poverty permeated the air, extinguishing any glimmer of hope or happiness. Witnessing my parents endure numerous hardships, often going hungry and resorting to desperate measures so that my siblings and I could have a meal, left a lasting impact on me. The strain and anxiety etched on their faces as they struggled to make ends meet and provide a roof over our heads is a memory that haunts me. I was forced to witness my parents’ futile attempts to navigate their challenges without any support or guidance, resorting to drugs and alcohol as a means of escape.
I am that child who lost a father to the clutches of the police force, a man who concealed his failures and struggles behind a veil of alcohol. As a young child, I endured severe physical and mental abuse due to their substance abuse, enduring unimaginable horrors like having my hand set on fire, being confined to an attic for days, and enduring daily beatings. The torment of foster care was just another chapter in my tumultuous childhood.
I am that child who dropped out of school in 7th grade, forced to turn to a life of crime on the unforgiving streets to provide for my family. It was a nightmarish existence, a harrowing journey that no child should ever endure. As other children got to dream about what they wanted to be as adults, I wondered why I could not have a typical, loving family. I sat with the weight of feeling unworthy of love, questioning why I was ever born. It baffled me why some people looked down on us without understanding our challenges. As an adult, I encountered failure after failure due to my lack of essential life skills necessary to thrive as a responsible member of society. I struggled with basic tasks such as managing finances, maintaining a household, obtaining a good education for a successful career, and raising a child effectively, witnessing my little brother being taken away from my parents by the state and tragically losing his life while in their care was a heart-wrenching experience. As a father, I made the difficult decision to give up my precious baby for adoption, hoping to provide her with a life that I was unable to offer. I found myself inadvertently causing chaos in the lives of those around me, lacking the ability to form healthy relationships and distinguish right from wrong. The burden of regret weighed heavily on me as I coped with my failures by turning to substance abuse to numb my pain and escape reality. I have had to start over seven times with nothing to my name. Repeatedly rejected from programs meant to offer support to individuals in my position, I found myself resorting to criminal activities on the streets once again to survive and put food on the table. The cycle of incarceration has been a brutal one, marked by violent encounters with law enforcement and prison staff just to be thrown back out to the streets after term. In the courtroom, I have witnessed a perversion of justice where the guilty are absolved through bribery while the innocent struggle in vain to prove their innocence, as the system only seeks to secure convictions. I have faced the pain of losing my second daughter, taken from me with no option and placed for adoption without my consent, which added to my struggles and haunts me to this day. Yet, in the midst of this despair, I found a spark of resilience within me, a determination to rise above my circumstances.
TRANSFORMATION
The memory of God’s entrance into my life in January 2022 will forever be ingrained. Seeking warmth from the cold, I sought shelter in a hotel room, only to have it raided by law enforcement. I would be arrested due to false information and then taken to Orleans Parish Prison for an 11-month investigation; feeling wounded, broken, and utterly abandoned by society, I found myself with no one to lean on in my darkest hours. The world’s indifference left me with a heart grown cold and heavy with sorrow. I have been made to feel unlovable, continuously pushed away and rejected throughout my life, leaving me feeling utterly depleted and broken.
During this trying period, I endured 21-23 hours of isolation in lockdown; the weight of isolation felt suffocating. In the aftermath of Hurricane Ida, the storage facility that held the supply of books in the prison was destroyed. It left me with only the Bible as my companion. Trapped in my thoughts and emotions in its pages, I sought refuge and guidance, finding solace in its comforting words and turning to its verses repeatedly for comfort and strength. The Bible profoundly impacted me, prompting deep reflection on my life.
I learned that it is the enemy that divides; it is the enemy that causes pain, kills, steals, and destroys lives. For 40 years, he imprisoned me in darkness. The grips of fear chained me down. I was forced to endure the pains of this land. It is the enemy that took the ones I loved and held dear. He took their lives and scattered them abroad. He left me alone. There are a million types of pains, but no pain is worse than when you’re left all alone and no one loves you. While my experiences had toughened me, they had also led me down a path I did not like. The pain cut deep; it had turned my heart cold towards the world, and it left me wanting others to feel the pain I felt. Alone in darkness, feeling abandoned and unloved, with no one to hold me, no one to reassure me, no one to tell me it would be ok. Loneliness can feel crushing and overwhelming. Yet, the Bible shifted my focus away from myself and my experiences.
When you become a Christian, it is no longer about yourself; it is about those around you. It is about loving and caring for them. Jesus came into this world selfless. “He bore countless sufferings, enduring physical pain, emotional turmoil, and spiritual agony, all to free us from the chains of sin. His selfless sacrifice was driven by a profound love for every one of us, in an instant, that redirected my focus from my own experiences to the struggles of those around me. Feeling undeserving of his love for 40 years, He gave me a priceless gift. He has shown me firsthand the hardships that our children go through every day. He has shown me how those children are when they get older and how they are as adults. – a front-row view of the trials endured by his children in our nation. He allowed me to see their struggles through their eyes.
As I look back on my past, I am overwhelmed with respect for the unwavering strength and resilience of my mother in the face of poverty. Her love for her children knew no bounds, driving her to extreme measures just to put food on our plates. I cannot help but think of the sacrifices she made, even resorting to selling herself to keep us afloat, the fear and uncertainty she must have faced walking in a stranger’s home, the heartache of losing a child to a system that failed to see her struggles. She was just one of many, like the 18-year-old sentenced to 4 years for stealing to provide for his baby only to have his baby stripped from him, the inmates facing daily abuse in the dark corners of society. The young mother that had to turn to prostitution because of the years she spent on a degree was taken from her because of one single mistake, forced to endure being raped and beaten countless times. The citizens are beaten on the streets because of their color, the way they dress, or their current circumstances—our forgotten brothers and sisters who are homeless.
Being homeless is a brutal battle for survival, a daily struggle for food, shelter, and safety. Witnessing the slow erosion of hope in the eyes of those around you, seeing friends succumb to violence, illness, and addiction on our nation’s unforgiving streets. Their lives matter, their stories untold, their pain dismissed as insignificant. Watching them fade away, forgotten by a world that fails to recognize their humanity. It is a heavy burden, a stark reminder of the fragility of life when you are on the fringes of society.
These are the forgotten ones; they are the backbone of our nation and bear the weight of poverty, discrimination, and neglect. They control the crime and abortion rates. You see them struggling and fighting tooth and nail to hold their families together, shackled by barriers that deny them a fair chance at success. They are pushed aside and to the brink, and their circumstances get ignored. Yet, hunger forces them to make impossible choices to survive. Only a handful find a way out and lead a semblance of an everyday life. Some surrender to despair, resorting to criminal acts to provide for their loved ones, while others lose all hope. Many drown their sorrows in substances and alcohol, seeking an escape from their harsh realities. Some are consumed by rage, committing unspeakable acts so others will experience the pain they feel every day. The fabric of our nation is woven with their stories, their struggles, and their pain; innocent lives have been lost, and dreams have been shattered. The mass shootings, the violence, addiction, alcoholism, crime, sexual perversions, our economy. Poverty is the root cause of the storm that covers our nation, and through it all, our children suffer.
TODAY
He has redeemed my life from every distress. In my darkest moments, He held me close, carried me, and showered me with His love, like he did all of you. I have been rescued and given a new beginning. He has given me love, hope, and peace. Be it life or death, I owe him my life. I stand on my rock with unwavering faith and complete trust in his promises; no force can separate me from his love. God is my rock, my cornerstone, and I see his living presence in my life. Assuring and knowing He will never forsake me. He has opened my eyes and ignited a fire in me, giving me a deep love for all humanity.
My soul yearns for peace to embrace our world and for the storms over our nation to dissipate. I now follow the call of my heart, no longer relying on my strength but on His divine will. He is the king of kings. He is the creator, the ultimate lover, the ultimate forgiver, the ultimate healer, the master of mercy, and the most excellent demonstrator of faithfulness. He is the silencer of all fears. There is nothing over him. Nothing can stand next to him. He is the God of miracles, and I know from the depths of my heart to the tips of my fingers that he wants to heal our land and my life, and the work he has done through me is my living testimony. He has my life and now my plans. Jesus did not wait for someone else to intercede through prayers to save the world from sin. He proclaimed, “For this purpose, I was born.” I stand as a Christian, a soldier of Christ, and today, with the power of the holy spirit, I stand with the American Flag on my back.
Amidst the backdrop of the fluttering flag, a heart-wrenching scene unfolds before us. Our Children, once brimming with hope and innocence, now stand scattered and fearful, their eyes reflecting the deep wounds of poverty and neglect that have scarred their young souls. These forgotten ones, failed by a system meant to protect and nurture them, are left to navigate a world filled with deprivation and inequality. Their laughter, once carefree, now carries the heavy weight of despair far beyond their years. As they cling to the symbol of a nation that has seemingly turned a blind eye to their struggles, their eyes speak of betrayal and abandonment. These children know all too well the harsh reality that a society that should have uplifted them has denied their rights and opportunities. The time to act is now. We cannot let these children suffer any longer.
I will not turn away from the pain of our children. I stand in solidarity with them in the struggle for a world where every child can thrive and reach their full potential, free from the chains of poverty and neglect, free from the separation from their family. I am committed to ensuring that these and all children are given the opportunity to flourish in a world that values and nurtures them. Everyone deserves a place to call home and an equal opportunity to become a contributing member of society.
I am nobody special; I am not doing anything anybody else could not do. I am just trying to do for the children of America what I prayed somebody would come to do for me when I was a child: to help me live an everyday, happy life, to make me feel like I was worth loving. This fight is no longer mine but Jesus’s, and there is no battle he cannot win. He will lead them to the springs of life-giving water and wipe every tear from their eyes, and every citizen of this great nation will be walking on Holy Ground.
For God gets the Glory Forever and Ever.